this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This is classic penis vs brain.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
