i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
