how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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