Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
