hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
