Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
