This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
