R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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