i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
