So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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