this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
