A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
