Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
