i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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