Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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