okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
