new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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