Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
