Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
