If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
