Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
