He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
