Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
