i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
and she was petting her beer can
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize