so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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