Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
