just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We are two peas in an std pod
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize