look no pants
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
