Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
