Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Bang-toberfest begins!!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize