explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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