Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
