im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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