Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
