Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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