I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
