There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
