You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
