There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
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