She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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