I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm both gender and math confused
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
