I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
