Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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