Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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