nut hugger
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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