I wannas sexs uuuuu
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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