i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
