Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
