allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
