I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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