Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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