Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize