So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you win again, gameday.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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