the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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