I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
