he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize