Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Boobs speak an international language.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
