Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
