Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
