So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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