is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just tell him i said nine months
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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